Obama-tacular!

It's about time for an update! I'm in the middle of my run of Lucky Stiff in Florida, and things are going well, for the most part. I'm really having a fun time onstage every day. I get to sing some great Ahrens and Flaherty music. The Dog Song a.k.a. Times Like This is such a joy to sing 8 times a week. Not only that, but since I've been here, WE GOT A NEW PRESIDENT!! I am so unbelievably proud and ecstatic about President-Elect Barack Obama, I can't even express it. I boo-hoo'ed like a baby during his acceptance speech. I had had a bottle of wine and then proceeded to call Joe and tell him that we can now "pop out babies, since Obama is the president." Yeeaaahh...I'm glad he's already decided I'm the one...any other man would've been scared shitless.

The only part of the election that truly makes me sad is the passage of all of the propositions that take away gay citizens' rights. I've already unfriended one guy on Facebook I went to high school with who decided to scrawl hateful crap all over my wall on the subject. I'm so deeply offended by these propositions and their supporters. No, that is not ok. I will stand up and support all of my friends who are the victims of a society that is trying to legislate hate, discrimination, and bigotry.

In less than a month I start rehearsals for Those Fabulous Fifties, Part 2 at the Fireside Theatre in Wisconsin. I'm really excited to go back there - they treat their actors so well, it's like a breath of fresh air! I have a feeling I'll be singing lots of pretty ingenue ballads a la Connie Francis' Where The Boys Are. We'll see. I also want my Equity card. That's my next goal. I'm ready!

My little sister turned 18 yesterday. I feel really old now. The 3 of us are 18, 20, and 24 years old. When the hell did that happen?

Also, am I the only person who is obsessed with watching John and Kate Plus 8? It's a little ridiculous. Those children are so adorable they make me ovulate. Ow, there it goes again.

Economic Shithouse

I'm seriously scared right now.  My landlady just went ape-shit on me and said I wasn't allowed to sublet my apartment.  Actually, we aren't allowed to have anyone stay with us at all, let alone sublet.  So that means I have to pay $825/month in rent while I'm gone and making $400/week.  Plus gas, student loan, health insurance, groceries, cable, birth control, etc.  I don't think I've ever been so scared in my life.  I am seriously thinking about going off birth control because it will save me $32 a month.  This means I can't go out to eat, have a drink, go see a movie - nothing!  What difference would it have made to the landlady?  She would still get $1650 for rent!  She's also had noise complaints a.k.a. her cousin who lives downstairs has complained about "heavy objects being dropped on the floor."  Occasionally, a cell phone or a remote will be knocked off a table accidentally.  Onto the HARDWOOD FLOOR.  If you're so concerned about it, carpet the damn apartment!  

I just feel like I can't live in and enjoy my own apartment.  I can't wait til June comes so we can get the fuck out.  But really, I want to have a house.  Where we are the only people who live in it.  With a yard.  And space.  And trees.  And a dog.  And where we can be as loud as the hell we want!!  I saw these people on the news who are raffling off their $1.28 million house for $50 a ticket.  It's this amazing house in Edgewater, Maryland.  I think I've decided we have to win and move to Maryland.  

Venting of a Struggling Actor/Waitress, or, Suck It: An Essay

I think everyone should be required to be a server in a restaurant at some point in their lives. Last night a couple middle aged women and their teenage daughters were sitting at my table. I check on then a few times, they said they were fine. At the end of their meal, they said they wanted the check. Then they said, "Oh, we have to leave in 10 minutes, but could you sing happy birthday?" It was 6:20pm, dinner rush time, and at that moment I got triple sat. I said to them, "I'll see what I can do about that." I took all 3 orders, and was going to get the whipped cream to make a "birthday surprise" for their 13-year-old brat, when they got up and left. They passed me saying, "Uh, BIRTHDAY?" I said "Yes, I was actually just going to sing to your daughter right now if you want to wait just a second." "No," they said. "We have to leave." On the way out they complained to the general manager, who happened to be standing there. He then suspended me from work for a whole week.

Nevermind that the policy is 3 write-ups and then you're suspended. Nevermind that the ladies asked me to sing 10 minutes before they had to leave at the height of dinner rush. Nevermind that I am one of the few servers who always does every single bit of their sidework. Nevermind that I am one of their better singers. Without the first warning, I get sent home for a week for my "great infraction," for which apparently I should be thankful they didn't fire me. Now, here are some reasons why people have been fired in the past 4 months...

• Leaving $1000 cash out in the women's bathroom overnight and forgetting to give it to a manager.
• Sleeping with a manager. (which I think is his business and none of the restaurant's, but whatever.)
• Mouthing off and being rude to customers.

How does this make any sense whatsoever? You know, it doesn't matter what the circumstance, if a customer is mad, the server will pay for it. That's why everyone should be required to be a waiter. Those ladies knew that they were giving me short notice to sing happy birthday. Look around! It is busy! I am only 1 person, and I can only be in 1 place at a time. Be patient, or be understanding - you only gave me 10 minutes notice! I mean, of course, if I was a terrible waitress and never checked on you and put the wrong order in, then by all means, COMPLAIN! Whine and scream to a manager for all I care. But that didn't happen. Because I am a good server. And I hope they are able to sleep at night knowing that they cost a struggling actor/waiter $400.

It's ok. People who go around sewing bad karma will get theirs. It will come back to bite them in the ass. And I'm leaving in a month to go do what I love to do.

The Light at the End of the Burger-Slinging Tunnel

Hi, blog readers! All 1 of you. (Hi, Chris!) I've been serving slimey burgers to idiot tourists while singing One Fine Day and flirting with old scraggly burger-mongering men and snotty demanding children for the past 4 months. Most of my conversations go something like this....

Parent of Snotty Child who is Pulling My Hair: "You mean this bowl of soup costs $6?!"
Me: "Yes. I don't make the prices here."
Parent of Snotty Child who is Now Hitting Me In My Face: "That's a rip off!"
Me: "Next time you go somewhere where professional singers put on a huge show for you, and all you have to do is order a $6 bowl of soup, call me."

Huzzah! Too bad I have to leave in a month to go do Lucky Stiff followed by the Fireside's band show. Darn. Here are the fun things of note I have done since I last blogged...

• Saw the Public Theatre's production of Hair in Central Park at the Delacorte. Amazing. Loved it. I don't get this enthusiastic about theatre unless it's really good.
• Took my mom all around NYC. That's right, you read it. My *mom* actually came up to visit me in New York! I know, Satan must be freezing right now.
• Saw [title of show] on Broadway, loved it. (It was the 2nd time...I saw it when it played the Vineyard Theatre too.)
• Sat atop a red tourist double-decker tour bus and rode around NYC.
• Waited tables dressed as Priscilla Presley.
• Was offered an awesome acting job without auditioning for it!! (Ok, I mentioned that one before, but I'm super-stoked. Shut up.)

Improvements

SO much has happened in the last month! I finished my production of the Immigrant and came back to NYC May 5th. On May 17th, Joe and I moved into our new 2 bedroom apartment 2 blocks away from Astoria Park off the Ditmars stop. It is enormous. We are so happy. We drove to IKEA this past Wednesday and bought silverware, a trash can, a dresser, and a bookshelf for a total of $280. We're flying to Raleigh on June 2nd to get furniture from our parents, and then driving a truck back up here...right now we're sitting on pillows in the living room. A couch is much needed. I'm starting back to work at Ellen's this week, so I can afford to pay the $825 a month. Warm weather is coming to the Big Apple, and all is well.

I feel like the weight of the world has been taken off my shoulders every time I ride the train out of Manhattan and see it across the river. The last 2 years have been so frustrating because of my lack of living space that I turned into a fire-breathing dragon most of the time. I hated New York. Now that I live in Astoria, I feel myself beginning to like it again. I can look out my bedroom window and see trees and the sky. When I walk out my door, I hear dogs barking and children playing. I haven't heard the first siren or jackhammer or nightclub beat as I try to sleep. Mama likey.

"Something funny's going on..."

Continued....

Roach #5: Greeted me when I opened the shower door.  Killed by boyfriend in lemon-scented death, then flushed down toilet.

Roach #6: Found crawling on ceiling of BEDROOM, sprayed with Raid, fell off ceiling, ran around floor for a while before being crushed by giant boyfriend's boot.  

I hate roaches.

In other news, the Immigrant is closing a week early because the owners of the building said that the new tenants need to get in the building a week early.  This sucks, since all the performances the last week were completely sold out.  I'm sad this show is over...I actually like doing it 8 shows a week.  And I'm sad to leave Florida early.  But it will give us more time in the Great Apartment Search of '08.  So I'll be back in NYC a few days early to start looking - any leads would be great!  

Joe just left after being here 5 days.  We went to Disney World with Joey for free, since my sister works there.  We rode all the awesome rides til we puked, ate funnel cakes, drank beer, and got home at 3AM.  

Oh, and I also have good news!  I was offered Annabel in Lucky Stiff!!  I'm super excited about it - I get to sing the Girl-Could-Use-a-Dog Song.  :-)  It's directed by the same guy who directed/wrote Mating Habits, who I LOVE.  It's not until October, so I have 6 months to find something to do in the city.  And to live in domestic bliss with my honey in Queens.  It's a good life.  :-)

Disney and Roach Fiascos

Tomorrow Joe comes into Fort Lauderdale and I'm SO EXCITED!  In the past 5 months, we've seen each other for 2 weeks.  My head is going to explode.  There is only so much crocheting of hats and watching of movies I can do before I miss having him around.  I have reached my quotient of Time Without Joe Around.  Joey and I are picking him up from the airport and going straight to Disney World!  My sister works there, so we're all getting in for free.  I'm still debating as to whether I want to go to the Magic Kingdom or MGM with them.  I'm leaning toward MGM, but I haven't been to Magic Kingdom for a long time, and that's the park where my sister works.  

It will be nice to get out of Coral Springs.  Yesterday Joey and I were talking in my room.  I was sitting on the floor in front of my computer when suddenly, we hear a heavy THUD next to my leg.  I look down, and an inch from my thigh is a GINORMOUS palmetto bug!  (If you don't know what those are, imagine a huge cockroach.)  So big, it thudded onto the carpet.  Thudded!  It had fallen out of the vent in the ceiling and onto my bedroom floor.  Naturally, I started screaming and running around and kicking the wall.  Joey found a streak of butch somewhere within himself and ran to get the Raid.  He Raided the motherbitch on the carpet in a trail of lemon-scented death.  That makes the 4th roach fiasco since I've lived here.

• Roach #1: Jumped out of the blanket on the couch onto the floor, where Cass promptly smushed it with  her cowboy boot.  Black splatter all over hallway floor.
  
• Roach #2: Found chillaxing in my bathroom sink.  Joey had bright idea to "drown him."  We then learn from boyfriend that roaches don't drown.  There is now a roach backstroking somewhere in my pipes.
  
• Roach #3: Scurried out from under refrigerator.  We trapped it under green cereal bowl until we could plot it's demise.  Used generic-brand bug spray, which makes for long, drawn out, wiggly death.
  
• Roach #4: Fell out of ceiling vent an inch from my leg.  Death by lemon Raid.

This doesn't even count the lizard that fell off my ceiling my first night in Florida or the lizard that got trapped in Chris's bedroom and made him start screaming like a little girl.  

A fresh start!

The time has come for a new blog!!  It's been a while...hi everyone.  I've decided to ditch my old pooptacular blog for this new and improved "blogspot" one.  Huzzah!

To get everyone up to date, I'm currently in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, doing a production of The Immigrant, the musical.  We opened March 7 and run until May 11.  I'm SO happy I decided to come back to the Stage Door Theatre to do this show.  It's really a joy to go to work every day.  The sunshine doesn't hurt either.  Joey Zangardi, Otterbein Alum of '99 plays my husband, and he is an amazing friend.  I am so happy to have met him.  And we're also called back together for another show in their upcoming season, so we'll see what happens with that.  I don't want to jinx it!  We met and lived with 14 other people from the Millie and Baby casts who left a couple weeks ago.  But we will be reuniting in NYC soon!  (Except for you bitches who get jobs and leave before I get back.  I hate you!)  :-)

Speaking of NYC, Joe and I are hot on the trail of a new apartment to move into together!  We have a lead on one in Brooklyn (I know, I know, I said I'd never live in Brooklyn), but we're still debating between a nice apartment in bum-fuck Brooklyn with a backyard or a sort-of-nice apartment in Queens.  Anyone wanna donate a mansion or a penthouse?  We would be very  happy to take it off your hands.

I miss you sluts in New York.  Call me.